When was the last time you sat in silence?

I don’t do it enough, I am the first to say I value silence. Not for meditation as I lack the discipline, just as a way to detox.

However, I find myself either on social media or one of the streaming services. As I enter the next chapter of my life. Its time I embrace the silence.

Control the distractions, do not let them control me. Learn that happiness is within, I just have to give it a chance to be heard. My goal is to minimise my life and maximise my output.

Its not about just removing the distractions as these too are essential, they act as inspiration it is about control. I can honestly say at the time of writing this they control my life.

As we travel lifes’ river we meet many people, most fall away through time. A very few stay with you and even rarer are those whose frequency acts as an amplifier to yours. Like the friends who push each other higher on a swing these people push you higher through life. I am lucky enough to have met one of those people and I am grateful for that on a daily basis.

Sitting in an antceint woodland removed from the noise of modern life. I start to hear the Earth, or more accurately feel it.

Our lives are filled with a cacophony of distractions, we have everything at our fingertips. Amongst the noise is a single note so faint it can not be heard without effort, that is the challenge we are no longer listening just reacting.

It is only in silence can we re-tune ourselves to hear the Earth, You do not need a forest or a mountain you just need silence.

Silence is golden my friends.

Rhys Markham

We are told more and more to live in “now”, but what is “now”?

I, like most people see it as a time marker which in turn makes it impossible to achieve as there is no “now.” “Now” becomes like a sunbeam. I know it exists, but it is ungraspable.

My inner dialog reached an empass at this point. Treating “now” as a moment in time was impossible. Just asking the question “When is now?” is a deadend.

I concluded there must be another approach, and this came to me like a dripping tap filling a bath slowly and with effort.

The question is “What is now?” not “When is now?” as with most of life only when the correct question is asked does the answer come.

In its simplist form, “now” is true reality. A distilation of a moment. “Now” is where we exist, we are all creatures of “now” we have invented the concept of past and future, to obscure “now.” It is only once this is understood, are we able to embrace the magic of “now.”

From the vantage point of my garden, and a glass of wine I can be accused of being blasé. I see it differently, as a way of coping through the uncertain times. I’ve been in isolation for about a month, just me and four dogs.At first I didn’t take it seriously as on the news it seemed like someone else’s problem and I went to work as normal. Bus and train across London the concept of social distancing was an alien one to me, there were a few people in masks and to be honest I viewed them as strange as my thought was they were overreacting. 

Now four weeks later in my garden, I have face masks myself and wash my hands every time I venture out. Daily I watch the death toll rise and see our leaders trying to stay in control of an ever changing situation. At the beginning of my lockdown I would watch the news and check social media on a frequent basis, this just heightened my confusion through the seeming contradiction of both the politicians and the medical experts. The concept that information is king falls down when then when you don’t know what or whom to trust, it seemed that we were in a storm of political point scoring. And the only thing that it benefited was my anxiety, leading to broken sleep and a feeling of dread. 

I wish to see through the fog of information and  find the cornul of truth, but I am increasingly of the opinion that this is an impossible quest as this situation is unprecedented. We live in a world where in the space of one day  a person can be anywhere on the planet, and that person can be unknowingly infected. That is a terrifying concept to understand and it brings our way of life to a halt, trapping millions around the world away from home. 

As the collective penny dropped, the panic started. Shelves emptied and it turned ugly in the physical world, meanwhile in the digital world it was almost the opposite. Those

 who showed concern were ridiculed, and the panic buyers were used  as memes to boost likes. Running like a river beneath this was the feeling that we weren’t  being given all the information and that fueled the theories both online and in the streets.

At this time in my garden it seems self evident that  we were given the information that we needed to know. We were shown graphs, explaining we had to flatten the curve in order not to overload our NHS. Whilst this was being made clear to us we were being told that more our loved one will die. We were spoken to in plain language and yet it was not enough and was seen as insensitive, and when we were told that we would be lucky come out of this with only twenty thousand deaths it was seen as an admission of defeat.

Triage information sharp and to the point, in a population unused to being spoken in this manner it  was unsettling and brought home the real scale of this pandemic. The aftermath was not what I expected. We started to reevaluate  our value system quickly identifying those with true value to society, and this was demonstrated by the now regular 8pm Thursday make some noise for the key workers event. The first Thursday this happened I was overwhelmed by the response and even shed a tear, these unifying are important to society. As without them we can fall into despair thinking that we are what the media tells us we are. 

So now with the police given powers to fine those who are ignoring the social distancing rules and those who are without a legitimate reason. We start to see another more insidious side to the lockdown, as we can all agree that it is up to all of us to beat this virus so on the surface we can all also agree that those who ignore the rules should be dealt with according to the law. However once you think about it, free from the pandemic who decides what a legitimate reason to be out is?  And the scope for abuse by the leaders of our country are terrifying. I fear that our lives will be disrupted for a long long time to come in ways we can not see yet. 

In truth it is too soon to think about after the pandemic, so let me come back to the here and now. Still in my garden on a sunny afternoon listening to families play and smelling their barbeques I can be forgiven in thinking that there is no pandemic. We are just enjoying a beautiful easter Saturday afternoon, with one exception that it can almost be guaranteed that someone will be watching to see if there is anything going on and if they see people that either do not belong or people disobeying social distancing they with be on to their social media  platform of choice and righting a long post about how disgusting it is that people are ignoring the rules. This kind of behaviour can be justified and often is to protect the NHS and save the vulnerable people of the country, and for now this is acceptable.

From my viewpoint of no dependants only the dogs I am in a better position than most as I can choose when to shop and only go out to get food and to some extent I can also get food delivered, so despite my cabin fever I am lucky, and each day i must remind myself of that. Those that I love although they are scattered far and wide over the globe they are safe and well, and I am grateful for that.   

   As much as I worry for our future I see hope. This has highlighted our dependence on the cheap products of the far east and also our real impact on the environment, as even in these few short months the air quality has improved by a noticeable amount. If we can capitalise on the issues that have been highlighted and learn from them we can become a much more complete and secure global society.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton